Week 10: Being a twat, it seems to be going round at the moment

A nice mug of tea after a freezing windy race?  Not on your life, I'm polishing off the left over mulled wine from Christmas.

At the start of the week a good friend, who is somewhat of an expert in this subject, told me I was a twat for how hard I'd run last week.  I pointed out I did it because I could, and he quantified that to a talented twat.  At the time I somewhat flippantly commented that was the nicest thing anyone's said to me in ages.  It would also, at least on the latter part, appear to be true.

This Sunday I am not in a good mood.  I'm not in a good mood because I fucked up a race I should have done much better in.  I didn't fuck it up today, today I rocked up and did the best I could, I fucked it up progressively over the last two weeks. 

This has not been a good week all round.  

I anticipated feeling done in for a couple of days following on from last Sunday's somewhat over-enthusiastic long run and a 53 mile week.  I wrongly anticipated that two consecutive rest days would sort my legs out.  Oh, ho, ho, no it did not.

Wednesday morning I then had another problem, in that in an incident involving my son being somewhat difficult, I twisted my ankle.  The painful ankle has been nagging away at me and worrying me all week, and it's generally really got to me.  What if I can't run at the weekend?  What if I still can't run next week?  What if I really have fucked it up badly?

I then of course did what any nut job obsessive like myself does, I carried on training!  I didn't run much, just the one on Thursday to test out how it was, at which point I discovered it hurt quite a bit.  I was also horrified to find my legs were still hanging up an "out of order" sign and telling me no way.  So I went to the gym instead and hammered away at the exercise bike there a few days along with a good amount of strength training.  Why not wear our your quads, Sarah?   I mean they're the only bit of you currently not already bloody knackered, let's have a good go at those too, all the while keeping the glutes and hamstrings nicely leaden.

On Saturday morning I did a very steady parkrun with my Mum which was lovely.  My Mum is 64 next week and started training a year or two back, but only took up running recently.  She is a natural.  She just runs easily, has great posture and core strength, and could easily be very good for her age if she wanted to be.  She started steadily worried about not making it all the way round without walking, and gradually picked it up, I could not have been prouder.  I also managed to jog round with her without my ankle hurting, so Sunday's race was on!

Earlier in the week having seen the forecast 20 mph winds I did a stupid.  I swapped the flat half I'd been planning to do, which was on an old airfield and a course I thought looked uninspiring, for a really hilly half.  I did this on the basis that it was a course I'd picked purely for PB potential, and it wasn't going to be PB weather.  This was a mistake.  Based on today's run I would have almost certainly run a PB on that course.  Probably not the time I would really have liked in the conditions, but I think I'd have taken a minute or so off.  Anyway, I swapped it for a lovely scenic hilly run round the south of Nottinghamshire, mostly because this was also a league race for my club and would give me some league points.  It was a whim.  I fancied it more.  It was a mistake.  

The first reason it was a mistake was out of my control, which was the weather.  While the winds at my initial half did indeed end up being about 20 mph, the wind speeds at the new one I'd opted for ended up being well over 40 mph.  I don't think I've ever run in those conditions.  The other mistake was thinking my legs were recovered enough for a hilly half.  They weren't.  My quads were saying no.  It was incredibly frustrating given how much my hill running has improved over the last few months and how well I've been doing them in training, but I left it all in training, and had nothing left for a race.  On the flat I was holding on OK, even in the wind, on the downs I wasn't really taking advantage like I normally would, just running tired, on the ups my fitness was fine, my heart rate was OK, but my legs were saying no fucking way.  I ran several miles of the race with a lovely lady from another local club and chatted through it which made it easier running with a strong cross wind, but my legs were going, going, going and every time we hit a hill I was struggling more.  

I'd gone into the race thinking that in the conditions and with the hill profile, I would hope to run a little under 1:34.  I realised on the first hill that wasn't going to happen and adjusted my pace.  At mile 10 when I was picking it up a bit I was hopeful that I may still manage a sub 1:35 which would have been respectable on that course in those conditions, if not what I really wanted.  I'd have taken it with relatively little grump.  Then we turned back uphill and into that bloody 45 mph headwind and I had nothing in my legs.  Just nothing.  I ran, jogged and occasionally walked the last three miles no longer cross at myself, but now absolutely fuming, and finished in the high 1:36s having been passed by a number of people in the final miles.  I know that logically, that's probably a better run than my PB given the terrain and conditions, it was undoubtedly the toughest race I've ever done, but it's not what I'm capable of at the moment and I'm really unhappy with myself.  

In the grand scheme of things it's just one race, and come Tuesday when I put my trainers back on I'll have some perspective again particularly in view of the fact the ankle held up OK which is really the most important thing, but after a particularly rotten couple of weeks of life in general I could have done with a boost today and the only person I have to blame for not managing it is myself.

So, my plan for the next five weeks of build up is to focus on a good tempo and good interval session each week, do slightly less mileage potentially swapping my mid-week steady run for cross training  this week until I'm 100% sure the ankle is OK.  I'll do the sessions harder and quicker, and the longer runs considerably slower.   Just like the person who informed me I was being a twat told me I should do.  He has at least had the good grace not to say "I told you so".

Some people have to learn the hard way, I seem to be one of them.