Week 9 Part 1: It's not big, clever or funny

This isn't specifically related to marathon running, but to running alone at night particularly as a woman.  Although I'm a member of a running club and run with others frequently, I also often run alone.  This is in part due to practical considerations, and in part because sometimes I like to be on my own.  I'm not going to stop running on my own.

What this has taught me is that there's a whole lot of people who think they're funny who just fucking aren't.  Not people with any real sinister intentions, just bloody dick heads, because of course for every 20, 30, 40 asshats who think it's funny to mildly harass someone out running on their own at night there is that one really bad person who does have sinister intentions, and they don't wear a fucking badge.

I've found the harder I'm training, the more this happens.  I'm not about to stop pushing myself on solo runs.

So, the asshats, the young lads who cat call and wolf whistle, the groups of girls who shout abuse, the comic on Wednesday evening who jumped out from behind a tree where he was hiding and scared seven shades of shit out of me for the amusement of him and his mates, the guys in the van who slow down to drive next to me for a chat, or possibly to offer some misguided compliments, the cyclists who like to ride along side me so I can enjoy the pleasure of their wit and sparkling company, the guy who thinks it's funny to try and run along side when I'm on my own in the dark at night, or step right in my path to take the piss out of how I'm running, yes, I'm running hard, get over yourself, the one who's playing runner chicken and likes to stick a hand out in front of me just as I go past to see if he can then snatch it out the way again before I go into it, or if I'll stop, seen him a few times now.

The thing is, as the person who is on the receiving end of these generally hilarious pranks, I don't know if you're just a regular nobend, or if you're actually the guy who's going to attack me.  I guess that's part of the fun, I mean what's not to love about making someone panic, even if it's just briefly, that you're the one who's going to hurt them, try and drag them into your van, take them off and rape them.  Absolutely top game to play, yes?  Genuinely scaring the shit out of someone is just so much fun.

The problem being, of course, for the dick heads, is that if you scare the living shit out of me I may, briefly, respond like I'm being genuinely attacked by the real pervert, because in that moment I don't know any better.  That may mean I run quicker, dodge out the way of your funny jokes, or if I'm on my own and you're in your van I may call someone or go into a pub or somewhere else that feels safe.  Or if you catch me unaware and really make me panic I may just push you out the way and ram my knee in your groin.  Just saying.

So really, it's not funny, not even a bit funny.  I'm sure most people I know already know that, but make sure your kids do, teenage children who think it's funny to act up in front of their mates make up about 80% of the people who genuinely make me nervous or worse when I'm out, the other 20% are the guys in the vans.  If your mate is that "bit of a lad" who likes to chat up women out of his van window, or pass the comments on the way past, call him out for it, it's not OK, and it's not OK to say nothing about other people doing it.